i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
