He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
