Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
