I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
