hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
