i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
