Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
