I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
