dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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