STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
