escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's blow job season.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We need to get me chipped asap
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
