I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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