That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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