Me. At least after what I've been through.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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