did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
