i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
