I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize