How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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