Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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