Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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