I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
