Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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