Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
