i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
