I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize