My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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