What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
