Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
