I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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