I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
