This dress was meant to end up on your floor
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
