she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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