I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
