is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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