I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
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