First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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