So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When are your genitals available?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
