She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
