my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize