is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just pee around me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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