Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
