Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
