dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
