Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize