Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
