so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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