At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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