Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
