I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
