I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
