You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
