Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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