You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dignity is for republicans.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
