She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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