Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
