He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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