I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He better not be in your backpack
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
