she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
