what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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