i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
