So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
