It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize