I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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