i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Drake has all the answers
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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