His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
a search helicopter?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
